The Adoption Waiting Game

    In May 2009 I was asked to put something on paper about waiting and adoption. In the summer of 2009 I completed the following. I've never put it on the Blog or sent it to anyone other than the person that asked me to do it. This week a few things have occurred that made me think it may be helpful to some people. I haven't looked at it or read it since last summer, so I did change a few minor things. I hope it helps in some small way those that are waiting for their precious gift from God.

Hurry Up and Wait

     I used to hate it when my parents would tell me to “hold on” or “wait just a minute”. Now I find myself saying it all the time to my children or my husband. The minute is never a minute; it’s always at least 5 and sometimes longer than that. I never really thought about the word ‘Wait” until I started the adoption process. You want to talk about holding on or waiting a minute, now adoption will test your ability to wait. Most things you wait for have a relatively defined time-line. For instance, my 4 year old wants to know when she gets to start big school and I can tell her that it’s about 1 year away. How about dinner time? You can usually predict how long it’s going to be until dinner within about 15 minutes or so. Of course that prediction would most likely change if you got a dreaded call from a telemarketer or you burned part of your dinner.

     But what about adoption? There is no time table. Yeah, when you’re doing all the paperwork; the foot high stack of paperwork, and the home study, and the photo book, and meeting with the agency Director, you can sometimes get an idea about how long each of those processes will take. But what about after all those things are complete and you’re what I call, “officially waiting”, what do you do then? I remember what I did; I jumped every time the phone rang for about the first 3 months, and I went through many periods of nesting where I would clean constantly, work in the nursery, and buy baby things. I would obsess over the agency website, the agency blog, the agency yahoo discussion group, and anything else I could find on the internet or read about adoption. I would find joy in the stories of people being placed, but I would also wonder why that birthmother didn’t choose us. All these things I did and more during our 14 ½ month wait (official wait). Don’t get me wrong the internet and book resources were wonderful and I got a lot from them, but I found that I could not drown myself in the adoption process and information completely. I had to have time where it was not always what I thought about. Removing myself at times from the adoption and trying to focus on other things was the hardest thing I did throughout the entire journey.

     Along with all the obsessive things, I also did things that didn’t have me obsessing over the adoption. I enjoyed my family, my friends, my church, I worked hard to cherish the time before the new baby. I spent special time with the children I already had. I know if you’re waiting on your first child then this would not be possible, but enjoy your nieces and nephews, your friend’s children, the children at your church. Put yourself around children of all ages as often as possible, you will be amazed at how much you will learn from them and how much strength they can give you just by smiling at you or making you laugh hysterically. I found comfort in my family, friends, church, the bible, and prayer.

What the Dictionary says about waiting…

To expect: look forward to the probable occurrence of

To remain or be in readiness

To tarry until another catches up

To stay in one place and anticipate or expect something

What the Bible says about waiting…

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Habakkuk 2:3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

     The Lord's plans for us are always unknown, but through our Faith in Him we can be rest assured that they will be specifically for us and always at the right time.

Written by: Annice in July 2009

First Day of School 2010

   


      Well Wednesday was the first day of school for Edi and Amelia.  Edi started 4th grade and Amelia started her 2nd year of Preschool(4 year old Class).  They were both very excited and I have to admit that I was too.  They both love their teachers and I know it's going to be a great year of growing and learning for them.  With a new school year comes a new schedule for me, my schedule changes about 5 times a year.  It changes in August when school starts, it changes in January when Tax Season starts, it changes in April when Tax Season ends, and it changes again in June when school gets out.  It's a good thing because it keeps me on my toes, but it always takes me a few weeks to get my ducks in a row and get used to it.  This year Amelia goes to school 5 days a week from 8:30am-12:00pm.  Her preschool is about 17 minutes away from our house and Edi's bus does not pick her up until 8:28am and if I took her through carpool they can't unload and go into the school until 8:25am.  I either have to take Edi to a friend's house down the road from us in the mornings to catch the bus, so I can get Amelia to school on time or take Amelia to school first and then take Edi to school(which makes for a lot of driving).  I'm trying to work 1 day a week right now, mornings at the museum where I keep the books and do payroll and the afternoon at the tax office.  I had to find new childcare for John Mac since Leslie is now in college.  Leslie kept John Mac at our house this year during tax season and then continued to help me through the summer.  We love her!  This past tax season Amelia started going to Mrs. Jennifer's In-Home Daycare after preschool when I worked, so I called Mrs. Jennifer and she had room for John Mac and Amelia, so Friday was his first day and her first day starting back there since May.  They both did great, but John Mac didn't take a nap at all and he's still taking 2 naps a day most days.  I was worried about him because he is such a clingy little boy, he cried in the nursery at church for a solid hour last Sunday, it was heart breaking. I hope when he goes back this coming Thursday he will do just as good, but hopefully with a nap.

HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY to my Precious Edith!!!

     Yesterday, August 24th was Edi's 9th birthday!  I can't believe how much she has grown and what a sweet girl she is.  Of course she has her drama, rolling eyes, and attitude moments, but she is a compassionate, caring, funny, friendly, and loving child.  All she really asked for this year was a Fushigi Ball that is advertised all over TV right now.  Well, guess what?  I ordered it 3 weeks ago and it just shipped on Monday, so no Fushigi Ball yet.  Of course she got a few other things, but that was her one big wish.  She did get a new Webkinz she had mentioned, some clip-on and magnetic earrings, a picture and some wall stickers for her room, and a new Barbie.  Last Friday we had her friend party at our pool.  We rented the pool from 8pm-10pm and we invited some of her friends and their families since it was late at night.  The pool party was a lot of fun and we got a lot of donated food for our local Food Ministry.  Instead of presents we ask people to bring items to be donated to different charities on the kids' birthdays.  Since Edi's b-day is so close to school starting we usually ask for non-perishable snack and lunch items for kids going Back-to-School.  She had 2 friends spend the night after the pool party and they had loads of fun.  Saturday afternoon we had a little family party with grandparents, siblings, and her one 1st cousin.  It was a full party weekend that lasted into the week.  Monday my dad picked her up and took her to the local Magic Store and out to lunch.  That night after school Open House she went to spend the night with my mom and dad and then my mom took her out to eat and shopping on her birthday.  This was the first year that I was not the first one to see her on her birthday, in fact she didn't get home until about 2:30pm yesterday.  We had a nice afternoon ad evening.  When Daniel got home form work we opened her presents(listed above) from us and then we went out to eat Japanese per her request.  It was early to bed because school started today.  Enjoy the pictures!

POOL PARTY PICS

     

 

FAMILY PARTY PICS

 

 (Above: Blue Hobnail Fan Vase that my Mom gave Edi from her collection.  She started this year giving some of her favorite pieces away.)

 

 

BIRTHDAY DAY MOM & DAD PRESENTS & OUT TO EAT

 

 

Edi's Trip to CAMP

     I am happy to report that Edi's trip to Camp in July went great!  She was very nervous to be away from home from Sunday to Friday, but she had an absolute fabulous time.  She went to church camp on the NC coast.   She had a wonderful experience and when we picked her up on Friday she didn't want to leave.  She also gave us the preregistration form for next year.